I Was A Demon Child

Around ages 7-9 I was the most conceited, selfish, rude, bossy, psychotic child you would've ever met. I was a violent, attention-grabbing, Barbie-hanging little girl. (But that's a different story for a different day.)

One story, though, that really speaks to me, happened when I was 8 years old. I was over at my best friend's (only friend, really) house. (At this time in my life I was very dramatic. My dream was to be an actress/model/singer/detective/writer so I would often force my Friend to engage in pretend games involving these.)

I decided we would play a game (model/singing) that involved us dressing up in 'model' clothes, perform our original songs in front of our 'fans'. (I had an imaginary audience in my head that was always video-taping me and thought I was awesome, who I called my fans.) It took place in her ultra-conservative mother's bedroom. While one of us was changing into our 'model' clothes in the nearby bathroom, the other would perform. 

So my melodramatic self was happily changing into my feathered boa, preparing for my song 'Have You Realized' as my Friend was introducing her next song. 

My Friend: Ok, and I have another song to sing you. It's called "Have You Realized"...

Well, 8-year-old me would not have that. I stormed out of the bathroom and jumped on top of her, like a demented cat, onto the bed. Here's what I probably looked like:

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S. MY. SONG. YOUCAN'TSTEALMYSONG!!! GET YOUR OWN SONG!!!!" I yelled as I hit her repeatedly.

"What are you doing??" My Friend asked, terrified.

"MY FANS ARE GOING TO THINK I STOLE MY SONG FROM YOU!!!!!!" I then made her cry. I would cry too if my two-years-older-than-me-best-friend randomly jumped me, pulls my hair, hit and bit me. Plus, she was like, 6 and I totally took her down. 

"OH  MY GOODNESS! THERE ARE NO FANS!!! STOP IT! YOU'RE SCARING ME!!"

"DON'T YOU INSULT MY FANS!!!" 

This went on for about 15 minutes. Until I sat up, looked at my Friend and said, "We should stop it. Your mom might hear us and then I'll get in trouble." to which my friend happily replied "Okay". And we calmly walked out of the room as if nothing happened.